I stayed on program all week but didn’t really get any activity in. I know I could pull bigger numbers on the scale if I was getting some activity in. I stepped on the scale again today and was delighted to see that the 1 lb that returned last week has checked out and taken 6 friends with it. So today I had a 7 lb weight loss. Yay me!

Tonight Edwin and I pulled out my BOSU that I bought probably 4 yrs ago and never opened. We pumped it up and I’m reading the manual and will be watching the DVD to learn to properly use it. I’m also clearing off my exercise bike and I have my hand weights at the ready. I want to start getting in 45 minutes a day of some type of activity. Even if I have to break it up into 10 -15 minute increments a day. I know Jillian says that’s not as effective but other sources say that it’s fine when you’re starting where I am and at the weight I’m carrying.

So that’s where I’m at this week. I hope all of you out there on your own journey’s are having success!

I’ve had a few rough days. I was doing great the first 2 weeks. They’ve changed the program and foods I previously ate are now worth more points but they also increased the daily and weekly allowance. The problem I am having is that I have difficulty meeting my daily points. I can see where this change in the program will benefit those that have lower numbers to lose but it’s not good for me when I have hundreds to lose. They want you to eat more fruit and veggies but they’ve now made all fruits and most veggies zero points. So how is that supposed to help me in eating all my points? All the same, I’m giving this new program a try and I’ll see what happens. Maybe it will be a good thing that I’m not eating all my points every day. I guess that would be the same as lowering my calorie intake if I was doing a strictly counting calories type of diet.

Two weeks into this I got the munchies really bad. I felt like I couldn’t stop eating all day long. Of course, what I wasn’t paying attention to while I was counting points and tracking my food was the actual calendar. The next day ToM (time of month) came to visit. So my pants started feeling tighter again and I felt like I couldn’t get enough to eat. But now that ToM has checked out of Casa de Patience my pants have room in them again and the munchies have subsided. Normally I would consider this to be TMI but I feel I need to document it. I need to be aware of these things so that when ToM comes to visit again I can find other things to distract me from feeling hungry. Of course, I would not be opposed to ToM taking a permanent vacation somewhere else. I’ve tried to ban him from checking in at Casa de Patience but he says it’s his favorite vacation spot and he’s going to keep coming all the same. I need a better security force!

I’ve also been trying to eliminate drama and stress from my life. This is proving to be more difficult than changing what and how much I eat. I’m responsible for 3 children and they all have their own problems. I’m not just talking about normal childhood angst but real, genuine problems that were all triggered by Paul’s death and it’s difficult to help them work through their issues while at the same time focusing on myself. For too long I’ve put myself last. I have to make myself a priority. I have to stand up for myself and let people know when their issues are too much for me to deal with and still work toward a healthier me.

March 1st begins “Operation Move It & Lose It”. I have given myself the month of February to get used to the dietary changes & the changes to my body and energy levels as a result of the diet. March 1st I will begin the get active part of this journey. I will be taking walks around the mall with Edwin during the day while Devlin is at school. I figure the mall is a good place to start. It’s fairly quiet there during the day. There are benches scattered through out the mall so when I need to stop I can. Eventually I will be able to make these walks around the mall without having to stop. There is air conditioning which will help since we are moving into the warmer months here in Arizona. I also have hand weights, stretch bands, exercise balls, a treadmill & an exercise bike at home. It’s time to dust them all off and put them to use. Maybe even bust out one of those fitness videos I bought. How about some Hip Hop Abs or Yoga Booty Ballet or better yet belly dancing? I’d love to try Zumba. I’d also like to invest in the Xbox with Kinect and the Biggest Loser game.

I don’t want to die in 10 years or less and if I don’t lose this weight that’s exactly what’s going to happen. Edwin turns 18 in November and Cat’s not far behind. I feel like I’ve watched their childhood and not really participated and when I think of the memories of me they will have as adults from their childhood it breaks my heart. I’ve never ridden an amusement park ride with them because I can’t fit on them. It’s too much for me to even walk around the zoo with them any more. I can’t go shopping with them because walking around the store is too much. I don’t want to be a spectator to life any more. I want to be an active participant in not just my kids’ lives but my own. I want their adult memories of me to be better than their childhood memories. I’m only 36. I’m not old but I feel like I’m at least 20 – 30 years older. Something has got to give. Something has to change. My diet. My activity. My mental state. Though not with words, I was taught to internalize all my emotions and all the bad things that happen in my life. I was never taught to deal with them as they happen and then put them past me. I was just told to get over it. Well get over it didn’t work.

Don’t be surprised if this blog becomes more than just the diet and fitness part of this journey. There will be struggles and bad days. There will be days where I stop by to write about an event in my life that added to this weight that I carry internally and externally. I have to finally deal with things that have happened in my life. Most of them are things that people will probably read and think.. “She was 4 when that happened? Shouldn’t she be over it by now?” Well yes.. yes I should be. But I NEVER DEALT WITH IT! So I’m telling people right now. If you don’t want to hear how my parents getting divorced when I was a young child was one of the beginning blocks to my weight issues then move along to another person’s weight loss blog. This won’t be the place for you and in the spirit of making changes and sticking up for myself.. I don’t care what you think. I don’t care what you feel. This is MY place to document and process MY journey. Go start your own blog and write about sunshine and roses all you want because it won’t always be found here.

Sedentary to 5k

As I find resources and things that will be helpful to me I will share them here.

Quiz Results: You Are a Balanced Oxidizer

If you are a balanced oxidizer, your diet is the easiest to follow since you require an equal percentage of carbs, fats, and proteins in order to optimally process, produce, and use the energy from your food. You feel your best on a diet that incorporates a wide range of foods. Your ideal macronutrient ratio is 40 percent carbs, 30 percent protein, and 30 percent fat.

Proteins

You operate best when you are getting 30 percent of your total calories from protein. Choose from this list of proteins when deciding on a meal or snack: organ meats (pâté, liver, etc.), herring, sardines, anchovies, beef, bacon, dark-meat chicken, duck, lamb, spareribs, dark-meat turkey, veal, wild game, salmon, shellfish (mussels, lobster, shrimp, crab, oysters, scallops), octopus, squid, dark tuna, eggs, regular-fat cheeses, white-meat chicken, turkey breast, lean pork, catfish, cod, flounder, perch, sole, trout, white tuna, swordfish, low-fat cheese, low-fat cottage cheese, skim milk, low-fat yogurt, and egg whites.

Carbohydrates

With regard to carbs, the most significant difference between balanced, fast, and slow oxidizers is not the types of carbs allowed but the quantity. You should get 40 percent of your nutrients from carbs, but like everyone, you should avoid simple carbs and foods that have a high Glycemic Load value. Refined sugars, those found in cookies, sweets, and soda and processed grains like white bread and white rice, should be shunned whenever possible, especially on a weight-loss regimen. You’ll do best with a mix of fruits and vegetables from both the fast and slow oxidizers’ carb lists.

• Vegetables: asparagus, cauliflower, celery, mushrooms, spinach, broccoli, brussels sprouts, cabbage, collard greens, cucumbers, garlic, kale, leafy greens, onions, peppers, scallions, sprouts, tomatoes, watercress, beets, eggplant, jicama, okra, yellow squash, zucchini
• Fruits: apples, berries, cherries, citrus fruits, peaches, pears, apricots, plums, tropical fruits
• Grains: barley, brown rice, buckwheat, corn, couscous, kasha, millet, oat, quinoa, rye, spelt
• Legumes/lentils: tempeh, tofu, beans, peas (all fresh, nothing dried)

Fats

To best support your metabolism, you should be getting roughly 30 percent of your calories from natural oils and fats. Don’t eat excessive amounts of fat, but don’t specifically restrict your fat intake. You can choose from fats on both the fast and slow oxidizers’ lists of permissible fats.

• Nuts/seeds: walnuts, pumpkin seeds, peanuts, sunflower seeds, sesame seeds, almonds, cashews, Brazil nuts, filberts, pecans, pistachios, coconut, macadamias
• Fats/oils: butter, cream, almond oil, peanut oil, coconut oil, sesame oil, flaxseed oil, sunflower oil, walnut oil

Things to Keep In Mind…

Eat the foods that are ideal for you, and remember the following guidelines of what to avoid.

1. Don’t eat meals made up of just one macronutrient. Make sure you adhere to your ideal ratio of 40 percent carbs, 30 percent protein, and 30 percent fat.

2. Don’t drink alcohol. It’s often accompanied by empty calories, which can lead to a sugar crash as well as an increased appetite. If you choose to have a drink, avoid sugary cocktails, beer, and wine. Stick to clear alcohols like vodka and rum with calorie-free mixers like diet and club soda.

3. Don’t eat foods that have a high Glycemic Load value. If you should happen to eat foods with a high GL value, make sure you accompany them with protein in order to slow the rate of oxidation and stabilize blood sugar and energy levels.

4. Don’t drink too much caffeine. In the forms of coffee, tea, and soda, caffeine gives you short-term energy by signaling your adrenal glands to release adrenaline into your blood. When the caffeine wears off, you feel tired and weak.

5. Don’t overcook your meat. Avoid overcooked animal products because heat destroys essential amino acids and valuable enzymes.

Soooo…. Starting June 1 I’m officially starting a new lifestyle. I’m going to do a combo Weight Watchers/Biggest Loser diet and spend as much time in the pool as I can. I also plan to get a cane for tall people so I can start walking around the mall. I live in Arizona. 100 degree temps & my weight is a recipe for heat stroke. But the mall is good. They have benches so I can start small and work my way up. I’m tired of feeling this way. I feel like I’m the real live, breathing picture of a bump on a log. I want to be able to do things with my children. I want to be able to take them places and not have to sit in the car while somebody else takes them inside because I can’t stand in lines or can’t walk very far. I don’t want to ever hear another kid in Devlin’s class call me “that huge marshmallow man”. I don’t ever want to see the look in his eyes when he’s excited to see me until somebody says, “is that your mom?” and when he says yes they tell him how fat I am. I’m his mom and he loves me and those comments hurt him too. And now at 7 yrs old he’s telling me he’s getting fat when I have to buy him slims in order for his jeans to fit and even then I have to pull the adjustable elastic waist bands tighter.

Edwin will be 17 this year and I have so little time left with him. I’ve NEVER ridden on any rides with him at fairs or amusement parks because I’ve never been able to fit in them since having him. I want to show Caitlyn that there is a healthier way to live so she never gets to be the size I am now. I want to show her that she’s young enough to make the changes and lose the weight so she never has to miss out on anything.

I’m ready.

25 Biggest Dieting Mistakes
By Julia Havey
eDiets Contributor

OK, you are reading a weight-loss article, so it is safe to assume you want to lose weight. I bet you are anxiously looking for tips “to do” and a diet to “go on,” which are essential to successful weight loss, but those aren’t the only things that you need to know. Why? Most women have spent an average of 20 years “dieting,” so another safe assumption is that we know a lot about what to do right. However, little attention is usually given on what not to do. Apply this list of things not to do to your healthful regimen, and spare yourself many of the pitfalls that derail most dieters.

1. Having a negative defeatist attitude. If you think there is no way that you are going to succeed this time, lose the weight and keep it off, then you will be right! However, if you think positively and believe that change is at hand, you will empower your journey, and you will reach your goals!

2. Going on any diet that is not a manner of eating that you can adhere to for the rest of your life. Be careful when deciding what nutritional plan you want to follow, as it should be a manner of eating that matches your tastes, budget and lifestyle. You should model all of your future nutritional plans closely after how you lost the weight in order to keep that weight lost for good!

3. Believing that you will eat cabbage soup — or any other low cal, monotonous fare everyday for the rest of your life. If a particular odd “diet” is something that you can barely stomach, it isn’t realistic to think you will eat that way for the entire time it takes to lose all the weight. It certainly won’t teach you much about how to live healthfully for the long-term. Just say NO, to cabbage soup and other such funky diets!

4. Weighing in too frequently, letting the scale rule your mood and actions. Up to this point, have you been fixated on the scale? Well, if so, it hasn’t really helped you lose weight, has it? Otherwise, you wouldn’t be here, looking for yet another “diet.” So do us both a favor, and pack the scale up, put a big red bow around it, and unwrap it after six months of consistent healthful living. It might actually show you something you want to see.

5. Not drinking enough water. You MUST drink at least 64 ounces of water everyday, and for the overachievers, drinking up to half your body weight in fluid ounces a day is recommended! Early man packed up all his belongings when his water supply dried up, moved and relocated to another area where water was plentiful. They knew they couldn’t live without it. Yet, we modern men have water in our kitchen faucet, and ignore it all day. The difference is that they didn’t have soft drinks, coffee, sugar-filled drinks and diet soda. Yuck! Water is all that you need to drink, and you must drink at least 64 ounces of it a day!

6. Drinking sugar-laden drinks — including “fruit” drinks. Fruitopia is neither a fruit nor a Utopia! Try putting your favorite non-water beverage in your pet’s bowl, and see if they will drink it.

7. Consuming processed foods more often than fresh foods. Again, think how Early Man lived and what he ate. Eating as close to natural is the best way to ensure that your body is as healthy as possible.

8. Not having a plan. Leaving your actions up to chance in life is never a good idea. “We never plan to fail, we fail to plan.” Get a plan and stick with it, but make sure each step is realistic and change is gradual!

9. Not being aware of the nutritional benefits or detriments of what you consume. Lettuce is a great choice to eat, but spinach and other darker leaves have more nutritional benefit than the iceberg variety. If you are going to eat, get the most bang for your buck!

10. Finishing every last bite of a meal, even after you are full. Mother was wrong! Don’t clean your plate, let the dishwasher do that!

11. Going back for seconds at meals. Does the word “glutton” sound like something you want to describe you? There is no reason ever to have seconds! If you like it that much, have it as a leftover the next day! Too much of even a good thing is no longer a good thing!

12. Skipping breakfast. Mother was right on this one. It is the most important meal of the day!

13. Starving all day. When you finally get around to eating, it is usually something unhealthy and it gets stored as energy later, rather than burned as energy now! You totally mess up your metabolism if you do this!

14. Bingeing after falling off the wagon, and waiting until tomorrow to get back on track. Admit now that you will stumble on this journey. Make it your goal to lengthen the amount of time between stumbles, and shorten the time it takes to get back on track. This way, you may only blow it once a year, and will get back on track in five minutes! You get to that point, and there will be no problem!

15. Thinking you are genetically destined to be fat. The only fat gene is the one left hanging in your closet after you lose your weight! You may be predisposed to a condition, but how you live determines how great its effect on your life will be!

16. Treating fat as a personality trait. Fat is not a personality trait; it is a physical condition. Blond isn’t a trait, either; it is a hair color! Do not allow yourself to be branded by any physical attribute or determent! You are many things, but fat is not one of them. Identify some things you love about who you are, and focus on those. They will help you realize the body you want.

17. Not living each day to the fullest … thinking that it will come when you are thinner. Be, do and then you will have! Be a healthier person, do the things a healthier person does and soon, you will have a healthier life!

18. Thinking pills, powders or potions are more powerful than they really are for achieving weight loss. I bought diet pills after Anna Nicole Smith’s weight loss. I really thought they would work! $48 later, 30 days of pills swallowed and nothing! Not one pound of weight loss. If those things really worked, no one would be overweight!

19. Thinking of exercise as a chore instead of a way to improve your health and life. Not scheduling exercise as a vital part of your day and week. If today, you were in an accident, paralyzed and could never walk again, do you think you would long to be able to go for a walk? Exercise is a “get to”, not a “have to.” It is a joy to move your body and get your endorphins flowing. They truly are nature’s reward for demanding physical fitness of ourselves. Push yourself; you will be amazed at how it feels!

20. Indulging excessively in alcohol. Bottom line: When you drink, you suck down excess calories, alter your mind and let down your guard. Stupid things happen when we drink too much. Too many calories, too much food and too many regrets. Live in control and live freely!

21. Watching sports rather than participating in sports. Would it be more fun to watch the Super Bowl or be the MVP of the game? Is it more fun to watch an amazing homerun, or actually bring home the winning run for your softball team? It is more fun to watch spoiled millionaires dribble an orange ball, or run down the court trying to guard an old friend? Sunday football is a tradition, but playing a game of it in your own front yard will provide memories that will last long after the season is over!

22. Watching too much television. New rule: No TV viewing unless you have walked for 30 minutes! My rule is that I get on my Octane Elliptical machine and stay on it until whatever show I want to watch is over! One night I made the mistake of watching a two-hour show! I did 90 minutes on the Elliptical before throwing in the towel!

23. Thinking that “dieting” sprees — and not a total lifestyle change — will garner lasting weight loss results. If you aren’t changing your life, you aren’t making lasting changes!

24. Consuming fast foods on a regular basis. The fried, greasy and high-calorie fast food that dominates our society’s eating habits today is the leading cause of the obesity epidemic that we now face. If you have no choice other than fast food, please order a salad with grilled chicken, one packet of light dressing w/ lemon wedges, a bottle of water and extra chicken if you are hungry, but when they say “do you want fries with that?” Say, “Do you want me to be unhealthy and die young?” Hopefully, both answers will be no!

25. Waiting for tomorrow to “get started,” rather than right now! Right now, there are thousands of members logged on to eDiets.com, in the chat rooms, on the support boards, watching online anytime meetings and waiting to lend their support. There are teams of nutritionists to help you understand basic, healthy human nutritional needs. There is hope, and there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

You can do this! Or, I guess you can’t do these things!